I'm NOT sick

I'm NOT sick....at least not yet.  My risks are high it is true.  The piece of paper that changed my life says, "Although the exact risk of breast and ovarian cancer conferred by this specific mutation has not been determined, studies in high-risk families indicate that deleterious mutations in BRCA1 may confer as much as an 87% risk of breast cancer and a 44% risk of ovarian cancer by age 70 in women."

I first read this in May of 2008.  I was 26 years old. My husband and I were sitting in my car in a nearby grocery store parking lot.  I don't remember why we opened it there.  I think it was because I couldn't bear to open it alone and I drove to the school where he worked and this was the closest place we could have privacy.

We had been married 11 months.  This was years before Angelina Jolie made this a much more recognized issue to the public.  I felt alone and scared.  I didn't know anyone my age with this.  Actually, I still don't.  My biggest hope was that I would get tested and it would come back negative like it had for my middle sister.  Then I would just have the same risk as the general population.  But, no. I had it.  Now what.

In the years that followed, I had many doctors/nurses/staff that would look at my chart, look at me, look back at my chart and forget all the professionalism they may have had.  I felt as if I walked in to their office with three heads and a death sentence rather than a predisposition.  My original doctors would have had me do every surgery imaginable the next day.  For many, I was the youngest person they had ever met that had tested positive for BRCA1.  I wanted to scream, "I am NOT sick."  A ticking time bomb, yes.  Sick, no.  I hate being treated as if I am, but I am so thankful for those professionals that encouraged me to be well informed and did not pressure me into immediate action. That little piece of paper from Myriad genetics began my journey.